Monday, November 30, 2009

The Breadman!

Kaden and his friend Adam were bread making partners, with a little help from mom.
They were so excited to make bread in the class. Kaden was worried since we had to leave early that I would forget his bread.
Just in time to leave, our bread was ready to be brought home for the rising and oven ritual.
Posted by PicasaIt truly tasted as good as it looked....but it won't give Grandma Hallows' bread a run for the money. Kaden as you might guess from the picture was extremely proud of his bread.

Friday, November 13, 2009

A year ago......many hearts were broken!

I can't believe it has been a year ago today that we found out about our Sweet Avery Ann's heart. I remember it so well, yet it was still a daze, if that can actually be. I remember the OB telling me that it was a perfect forming baby, right on with the dates, etc......but with some hesitation he said he was not able to see all the chambers of the heart and wondered if it was because of the way she was positioned....come back next week was his response. I had some nervousness about it but nothing that was overly concerning. We went back a week later and he said that we need to be referred to Utah Valley for a more intense ultrasound, now the nervousness was compounded so intently I didn't want to wait, so I muscled my way in to a same day appointment only to be even more devasted that the news did confirm my nightmare. Steve and I were sitting in the ultrasound room as they probbed and prodded their way around seemed like forever waiting and not seeing any facial expressions that were encouraging. We met with the genetic specialist and OB and they told us our options....we did an amnio to see if there would be other defects, it was all surreal. This is NOT happening to us, is it? Well in our sorrow, I thought I should find out the sex as we previously were not going to, so that I could be closer and bond with this precious child...of course it was a girl, the girl I always wanted. Bittersweet was an understatement! I have never shed so many tears in my life....I think that day, I began my grieving process.

We prepare ourselves and embrace our bodies for hurt, but it seems to never evade anyone. I sometimes think, why am I doing so well, I lost a baby? Shouldn't I be a mess, shouldn't I be balling everyday, why does life still go on? I don't know the exact answer but I know that I was blessed with a unusual amount of strength, hope, comfort and understanding! These past months have been overall really good, we have days of tears, laughs, yelling, messes, all the usual things but there is not a day that goes by that there is not a mention of our Avery Ann. She lives in our hearts, in our souls and in our boys add in their daily prayers, "we pray that we will never forget our sister Avery." She made such an impact on so many lives, she has made many better people and I know its made lots of positive changes in our own family.

Last years holiday season was an emotional one, but we held on and we hope that this holiday season can help us to reflect on our growth, our gratitude and our family no matter if one is temporarily missing.

Monday, November 02, 2009

Halloween was a blast this year!

Colton wanted to be skeleton/skull face, so I thought I would paint his face for him cuz he said he hates the smells of the masks. So I sit him down to begin and all he wants to do is itch his face! Well makeup and itching don't go together that well. It took me half an hour to paint his face and less than half an hour for him to smear it all off. Ugh! Oh well it was dark out!

Steve was dressed as Warren Jeffs, the Polygamist that is in jail, and us girls (Kam, Me, Shanna, Tonya) were his wives. We had a neighborhood party adult that was so much fun.

Kaden was dressed as an old man and our niece, Ashley was an old lady, they were so stinking a cute, I could not stand it! Every house he stopped at, the people were like, look how cute he is. He even did the walk with his cane, it was hilarious!