What my sweet baby girl would be doing today, who would she look like, would I have to get a job to support her clothing habit....or would that be mine? I wish I could say that this was all a dream and that this never happened to our family. But since I can't, I have chosen to look at the positive things that our trial has helped us achieve in such a short time. As I reflect back on Avery's journey, I can't seem to grasp how I made it through that period of time. I was with someone today and I shared with them that it was as if I was being guided literally, to take each and every step & breath. I was given a very special gift when I needed it most and for that I will be eternally grateful. My husband and I became like one again, we gained strength through each others struggles and good times. We needed one another, we felt strong in the presence of our children, their innocence and tender spirits showed us what was really important in life. We cherished our family, our friends, ourselves....just a little bit more as we embraced life for another day, as our journeys are not our own.
Sweet Avery Ann is still here, somehow she lives on with us in our daily lives, as my boys would have it no other way. There is not a day that goes by that Colton and Kaden don't talk about or pray for her. My boys have given me a gift that I don't know if I could have given myself. They have the faith that is untainted by the words of the world, their innocence is untouchable, they believe what they are told! They teach me day after day that Avery is our family forever and we will see her again.
Until we see her again, we will enjoy when she shows off her presence, as she visits us in many forms, sometimes as a ladybug, sometimes as a butterfly...and often times she says hello to us in the form of some coin on the ground. A friend of ours, who also has a special angel, gave the boys piggy banks and said that whenever you see money on the ground that is Avery telling you hello! We relish in that notion, and every time we spot a coin on the ground, we pick it up and say hello Avery! She shows up a lot in our lives and it may seem corny to others, but we will take all we can get and the smile it puts on our faces and in our hearts.
Today we will celebrate instead of mourn the short life of Avery. The little boys have requested a birthday party at the cemetery, pink cupcakes and messages attached to balloons telling her about the special spirit she has brought into our lives. I will tell her, Life is not the same, life will never be the same, life goes on....we love you so much Avery, thank you for the strength and courage you have given each of us! Happy Birthday to you!